When you hear hooves, think hand grenades!

The lesson was “keep it simple.” When you hear hooves don’t think zebras think horses, right?  Pfft.  Not in my world.  These days when I hear hooves, I’m hunkering down for hand grenades.

People never tell you exactly what they mean or want.  They dance the dance and assume that you know exactly what they need or are referring to.  This is never more apparent than when you watch a couple struggling with issues and it always comes down to communication. Communication is an art.  It begins with not talking!  It begins with listening.  The Chinese symbol for listening looks like this:

There are a number of components with this symbol and I love how each part contributes to the act of listening.  Listen with 10 eyes – intently watching, as one with undivided attention, your whole heart to feel the words, your ears and then we add to this the symbol of respect – the king. When we are listening to the one that is speaking their story to us, we see the hand grenades while others only hear the hooves. Only then have we heard.

Why Can’t I find my Coffee Cup?

I will admit, I can be distracted by shiny things.  When I open my eyes, I have a preconceived notion that TODAY, I will accomplish everything I intended to accomplish.  I start with a list of all the things I would like to get done, then I review and revise to half of what I thought I would get done, then I revise again to the things that I like and the things I will likely put off.

I always start with good intentions.  The best way I figure to do that is begin with one thing I don’t want to do and one thing that I know I will love doing.  They become the beginning (what I don’t want to do) and the reward (the thing I want to do) to at least accomplish something on my list.

Today, I began with working on my new business logo (one of two to be announced soon).  I have been mulling this in my mind for days and thinking of all the reasons that it won’t be perfect enough and making dinner.  Add in there blocking a knitted project, laundry, prepping forms for business #2, dishes, walking Harlee, shower, making the bed, setting goals for the week, formatting a new pattern and getting photos ready for the pattern and well…. you have my list for the day.  Did I mention writing a blog and setting up Blog 2 for business #1?

It is nearly 2pm.  The dishwasher is open and half emptied.  The laundry is finished the wash cycle and needs to be put in the dryer.  The bed is made, my shower is done.  I set up the new blog and have written posts for today and tomorrow for Blog #1 but only set up draft titles for Blog #2.  I have looked up a recipe for dinner and for the life of me can’t remember where I left my coffee cup….AGAIN!

If you see it, would you mind filling it please?  I am on my way to empty the dishwasher, for real this time.

 

6 Years and 30,000 + Views; Goals for 2017

6 years seem like a 100 ago.  So much change in my life since I began this blog.  What never ceases to amaze me is how many individuals take time in their day, to share a part of mine. Over 30,000 views!  Thank you for taking the time in your day to follow me and my journey.

It is the beginning of another year.  D and I had a lovely evening out to celebrate the entry of 2017.  We noted how others seem to be exuberantly kicking 2016 out the back door.  We on the other hand found 2016 to be a year to remember all that is good in our lives.  2016 was another beginning for the two of us that included changes that we wouldn’t have any other way.  We have no 2016 regrets.

One of my favourite mantras is that “I am exactly where I should be.”  If that is true then all that has occurred has brought me to where I am.  Why would I want to change that?

So here is my focus for 2017.  Once again, I am exactly where I should be.  I will plan to BE every day.

There is however, one improvement that I would like to work on. If I could change one thing, it would be to like myself more.  How can I expect others to like me, if I don’t.  That begins with acceptance. Don’t confuse that with tolerance.  I define the difference as: Tolerance – not liking something but putting up with it because that is what is right to do, versus: Acceptance – embracing without judgement. My definition may not fit yours, but I accept that ;).

I accept that I am exactly where I should be.  I accept that it is who I am that brought me here.  Now that smell in the back laundry room….not sure I am ready to accept that.  These things come in small steps.

Accepted written by hand in sand on the beach

 

It’s always easier to drive from the passenger seat.

It is always a slippery slope, whether it is because we saw something on the news, heard something said at the table beside us or read something in the media, we are quick to judge.  It is that natural response…”well if it was up to me…” or “if that were my kid…” Fact is, it isn’t up to us or our kid.

I practice (and I say practice because it is exactly what I need to do as it doesn’t come naturally) not judging.  It is the hardest thing that I do.  There are days, when I don’t keep my ego in check and I judge with the best of them.  Yes, I sometimes believe there is an easier path, a stronger discipline or a better colour.  I may even, under my breath, find a snarky response to a perceived foolish statement or act.  I am not so naive as to think others have not done the same in their review of me.

Recently, I attended the last class of my negotiation/mediation designation.  We role played for 5 long days.  Never has it been more clear to me that it is easier to drive from the passenger seat.  My classmates struggled (as did I) with our leadership as mediator.  Two more students played the characters of the scenario at intensities that may or may not reflect real life.  The rest of us watched and critiqued.  Guess who has the easiest task?

Here is the funny thing;  as I sit in a room with friends and family, with comments of judgement being made around me by passengers who all know a better path,  I CAN (I hope) in a kind and gentle way, state that there is always another side to the story.  We need to accept and trust that the drivers (with rare exception) are doing their best and have no intent on killing passengers.  Maybe if we judged less, there would be less hurt and a whole pile more kindness in the world.

So that’s my plan.  I will be a thankful passenger in this life journey.  One that continues to PRACTICE at the very least, less judging.  One that helps others, when it is appropriate, by my example, to do the same.

Vacation for a Workaholic

Today is the first day of my holiday.  It is starting as a bit of an un-holiday because I have too many loose ends that need to be tied up before I can truly holiday.  This is the reason for my strategy to take a stay-cation before the vacation.

Am I crazy to think “If I could do anything right now, it would be to come back to this desk as empty as I leave it?”  I have an amazing management group around me.  Most of them were in this business long before I even started and that is now almost 18 years ago. BUT I am an “A” personality.  A control freak – honestly I am a workaholic and I’m not sure that I could ever be anything different.  It sounds so incredibly negative.  It’s not like I drink, do drugs or have sex all the time. Perhaps some of that might be of benefit.  I don’t hurt anyone but maybe me (if anyone is hurt) and I love what I do so why is it so negative?  I have admitted it and now I shall accept it.

I AM a workaholic.  I get satisfaction from a job well done.  I get satisfaction from knowing I will be missed because I do a good job.  I do what I love and love what I do.  Part of my motivation is also the team that surrounds me.  My management team is a group of men that inspire me daily.  They frustrate me as well occasionally but I am pretty sure I do the same for them.  I have an amazing group of women as support staff that over the past few weeks have stepped up to their own challenges and they have embraced them.  I am very proud of each of them.  I have amazing REALTORS® that we all work with and for every day.  You see that is what makes this such a unique position.  We don’t exist without them, but they don’t work without us.  It is a symbiotic relationship that ebbs and flows and truth be told, it mostly ebbs.

Pat is my Boss.  He has been in this crazy real estate business for 35 Years.  When he interviews a REALTOR® His mantra is simple; “treat it like a job, pick up your phone and take VACATIONS!”  So here I am, after celebrating a year as Broker for the #1 RE/MAX office in the world (yes you can look that up and even find a picture of me perhaps) taking a vacation.

It’s noon.  I have responded to 4 phone calls, written 9 emails, text responses to management and well, let’s just say that I am still in my pajamas, have enjoyed a cup of coffee and Miss Sophia is laying in her bed right beside the computer.

I am on vacation, listening to Billy Joel belting out “Honesty.”  I am off for a shower and then an afternoon with a friend, to list a property.  All in the name of a vacation.

 

As a side note….

I leave for MEXICO on Sunday next.  I should be in the grove of vacation by then.