It is always a slippery slope, whether it is because we saw something on the news, heard something said at the table beside us or read something in the media, we are quick to judge. It is that natural response…”well if it was up to me…” or “if that were my kid…” Fact is, it isn’t up to us or our kid.
I practice (and I say practice because it is exactly what I need to do as it doesn’t come naturally) not judging. It is the hardest thing that I do. There are days, when I don’t keep my ego in check and I judge with the best of them. Yes, I sometimes believe there is an easier path, a stronger discipline or a better colour. I may even, under my breath, find a snarky response to a perceived foolish statement or act. I am not so naive as to think others have not done the same in their review of me.
Recently, I attended the last class of my negotiation/mediation designation. We role played for 5 long days. Never has it been more clear to me that it is easier to drive from the passenger seat. My classmates struggled (as did I) with our leadership as mediator. Two more students played the characters of the scenario at intensities that may or may not reflect real life. The rest of us watched and critiqued. Guess who has the easiest task?
Here is the funny thing; as I sit in a room with friends and family, with comments of judgement being made around me by passengers who all know a better path, I CAN (I hope) in a kind and gentle way, state that there is always another side to the story. We need to accept and trust that the drivers (with rare exception) are doing their best and have no intent on killing passengers. Maybe if we judged less, there would be less hurt and a whole pile more kindness in the world.
So that’s my plan. I will be a thankful passenger in this life journey. One that continues to PRACTICE at the very least, less judging. One that helps others, when it is appropriate, by my example, to do the same.
The Other Side of Counting to Ten 