Bloom where you are Planted!

There are no more sleeps.  I have been here now for 11 days and D and I are working through building our new life together.  There is a part of this, that is simply getting to know each other in a way that is forever rather than from a suitcase.  The part that comes with sticky pieces.

There is combining of quirks and combining of things or “just stuff” as I tend to call it.  There is combining of love, space, kitchen gadgets, memories and hurts.  There is a combining that both of us so desperately want, making our house a home.  Making us a couple, and making the two a family.

This home takes my breath away each time we return.  The age (175 years), the history (as a church rectory), the scenery that must be experienced in person to truly have impact and the potential for a new future.  I get a do over.  I get to be whomever I wish to be.  I get to do that in the presence of a man, who has taken a chance with his heart again and given it to me.

My dear friend Karen tells me to “bloom where I am planted”.  It is my mantra these days.  When I am afraid by what I have given up to be here, relationships, my home, my job.  When I think about how I will fit in here whether that be with new friends or a new job (yet to be found).  The transitions have not been easy.  There have been tears, moments of “what have I done?”  None of these times however are about where I am or who I am with, but rather what is unknown.

Had I thought 5 years ago, when I laid on the floor, exhausted of every emotion I could possibly feel, that this is where I would be, perhaps I would have worried less, cried less, embraced each day more.  I can’t imagine now, as I couldn’t then, where I will be in this new life path a year from now, let alone 5.  But what I know is if I trust, and I bloom where I am planted, solidly in this home with this amazing man, I will be better.  I will trust that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.