It’s always easier to drive from the passenger seat.

It is always a slippery slope, whether it is because we saw something on the news, heard something said at the table beside us or read something in the media, we are quick to judge.  It is that natural response…”well if it was up to me…” or “if that were my kid…” Fact is, it isn’t up to us or our kid.

I practice (and I say practice because it is exactly what I need to do as it doesn’t come naturally) not judging.  It is the hardest thing that I do.  There are days, when I don’t keep my ego in check and I judge with the best of them.  Yes, I sometimes believe there is an easier path, a stronger discipline or a better colour.  I may even, under my breath, find a snarky response to a perceived foolish statement or act.  I am not so naive as to think others have not done the same in their review of me.

Recently, I attended the last class of my negotiation/mediation designation.  We role played for 5 long days.  Never has it been more clear to me that it is easier to drive from the passenger seat.  My classmates struggled (as did I) with our leadership as mediator.  Two more students played the characters of the scenario at intensities that may or may not reflect real life.  The rest of us watched and critiqued.  Guess who has the easiest task?

Here is the funny thing;  as I sit in a room with friends and family, with comments of judgement being made around me by passengers who all know a better path,  I CAN (I hope) in a kind and gentle way, state that there is always another side to the story.  We need to accept and trust that the drivers (with rare exception) are doing their best and have no intent on killing passengers.  Maybe if we judged less, there would be less hurt and a whole pile more kindness in the world.

So that’s my plan.  I will be a thankful passenger in this life journey.  One that continues to PRACTICE at the very least, less judging.  One that helps others, when it is appropriate, by my example, to do the same.

It’s Hard Not to Get Rained on…

It’s hard not to get rained on when your always standing under a cloud.  These are the wise words of my co-worker.  He is a smart man, lots of life experience.  I think today he may have been the smart one in the room.

Over and over we here about attitude or theories like those proposed by self help books like “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.  I for one always stuck to the plan of expect and prepare for the worst.  That way anything better was a bonus and I could never be disappointed.  Go figure.  Most times the worst didn’t happen but I was constantly under a grey cloud.  Doom and gloom were the expectations for the day.  I rarely found the joy in things because I was so mired in the worst.  I didn’t see it.  Others did.  I believe I was accused of never being happy.  What I had come to believe was a restless dissatisfaction with my life carried with it so many disappointments rather than enjoying the moment.

If you have ever read or heard of “The Secret” it suggests that you attract what you send out.  With that in mind, if I expected to be wrong, I was.  If I expected not to find something, I didn’t.  If I expected to be unhappy I was.  If I expected something to be hard, heaven knows it was.

Push forward and I now see the difference my attitude shift has taken these past 2 years.  I will survive, and I do.  I will be successful, and I am.  Branches, not trees, when it comes to waging through the forest of challenges.  Wallow, feel, if I must but don’t stay there long. Find the positive in every situation.  With practice, it gets easier to choose to be happy.  That is all there is.  No secret, simply a choice not to stand under the cloud.